Have you ever participated in a board meeting when the conversation around the table became divisive or charged? Ever felt like you were watching a ping-pong match between two hostile parties? Rarely is anyone declared a winner in such situations, except perhaps the loudest speaker. And usually everyone comes away with a distinct feeling of frustration and exhaustion (again, except perhaps the loudest speaker).

But, wouldn't it be nice, if...

Contrast that kind of meeting with one in which opinions are respected, or, better yet, encouraged and appreciated; the kind of board meeting in which members build on previous statements instead of tearing them down; the kind of meeting that results in a very real sense of community, innovation and excitement? What was the mood when you left such a meeting?  Wouldn't you like all meetings to be more like the latter than the former?

Why are healthy discussions important?

Healthy discussion does not have to be elusive. In fact, by following some simple rules, a board can foster healthy discussions at all meetings.

But, before we talk about those rules, let's first think about why healthy discussions are important for a board: A board of directors is primarily responsible for leading an organization; for making decisions on the organization's behalf that will carry it successfully into the wildly unknown future.

You never know where the answers will come from

Healthy discussions, I.e., ones in which all participants are able to speak about the issues freely, understand them fully, and consider them honestly, are vital to reaching educated solutions and to securing support for decisions from all parties. These are critical components of the type of decision-making a board is asked to make. Healthy discussion optimizes the varied experience, talent and wisdom that each board member brings to the table.

Just two simple rules

So, what are the rules of healthy discussion? If you follow them with a dogged determination, the following two are all you need to bring a better level of discussion and decision-making to the boardroom:

• Board members must be able to say, and believe: "I, myself, don't have the whole answer, but together we can find it." This does not discount an individual's knowledge or expertise, but rather, requires each member to acknowledge that others bring their own wisdom to the table. If a member comes to the meeting believing he or she already has the answer to a problem, the chances are good that the member won't really hear or synthesize what anyone else has to say.
• The second rule builds on the first. Board members must accept and believe that their fellow board members are equals; colleagues. This is critical to successfully engaging in healthy discussion. If one board member lacks respect for another member, or even if he respects him, but views him as less educated or less experienced, he will be inclined to devalue the other member's opinions and comments. Everyone's experience is different, even unique. Therefore, it can add value when it's tapped into.

Believe it or not

And really, that's it. Two simple rules to healthy discussions. It is not rocket science. But it does require a thoughtful approach to discussion around the boardroom table.

For more information, check out the article, Dialogue vs Discussion, for an interesting real-life example of the importance of engaging in healthy discussions.